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We have just gone on our first long road trip with our girls.  We drove all the way from Colorado to San Francisco, with stops in Salt Lake City and Reno on the way.  We were slightly afraid of this impending trip, because we had heard horror stories from parents about screaming kids in cars for three days straight.  So, as a preventative measure, we considered several different “child muffler” options before our trip.  We settled on one that broke one of our pretentious previous parenting principles (”the four p’s”):  We bought an in-car video system.

Now, those privy to the Cullinan Family Internal Family Principle Strategy Meetings circa 2005 are aware that this was a big issue surrounding the purchase of our first new car, a gold 2005 Honda Odyssey minivan.

(Editor’s aside…  My deep feelings for my minivan are perhaps the most perfect representation of my complete domestication and emasculation to date, and here’s why:  I LOVE my minivan.  I love it like guys are supposed to love their Porsches.  I get in my minivan, with its ample space for children and family outing items; its iPod dock for family-approved playlists; its front and back seat climate control; its “check your brain at the door” automatic transmission and cruise control; its gold external color, carefully chosen so as to show the least amount of dirt and dust and therefore require infrequent washings; its winter-approved ass warmer button for both driver’s side and passenger’s side seats; I could go on, but I won’t — and I think:  ”Yes, there is a God.  My minivan is where I want to be.”  Contrastingly, when I think of a Porsche, I think of not enough space, the annoying need to shift gears, and the dangerous temptation to secure a well-earned speeding ticket.  I do not hold up this mentality as something to be admired.  I merely hold it up as truthful and self-evident.)

Back to the Family Principle Strategy Meetings of 2005…  The big debate was whether to get the DVD system in the minivan.  My wife and I came in with a resounding and self-important “NO.”  That’s NO in all-caps.  This is because we are too cool for the in-car DVD player.  Our children were going to experience the world, not be mindless and narrowly focused zombies, so the narrative goes.  In fact, we had to pay MORE for the car to get it with the navigation system but WITHOUT the DVD player in the back seat — it became a custom job.  But we did just that and paid more because, well, we were just too intellectual and purposeful and cool for the in-car DVD system to poison our children’s adventurous souls.

Fast forward to last week…  We are about to go on a long driving trek with our kids, and we’re thinking:  Why the hell didn’t we get the DVD system?  What are we, communists?  Needless to say, our “Home Away From Home” Target Greatland was there to take care of our needs at an exceptional value — $159.99 for a double video screen system mounted behind the front seats by some technological-sounding company I’ve never heard of (we saved $20 by buying a “non name brand…”).  If these screens and this new perspective lasted all the way to California and back without breaking down, we would consider it a victory.

Well…  As I write here from California, we are halfway to victory, but under no conditions counting our chickens before they’re hatched.  One thing that parenting teaches you is that absolute principles are impressive in theory, and resisting the urge to buy video screens for the minivan sounds good and admirable on paper…  But the reality of life is sometimes more nuanced.  Sometimes it’s nice to be able to bend the principle a little bit and bust out the portable video screens every once in a while.  You know, taking a break from perfection for the good of the journey.

Just don’t tell anybody about the portable video screens.  It will be our little secret.  Our public policy will be the same:  We don’t have or need no stinkin’ built-in video screens.  (Read that sentence carefully and you’ll find this is still technically true.)  Built-in video screens are for sissies.  And speaking of sissies, please don’t put any Barney or Caillou DVD’s in our travel video bag.