The Story Of Heaven

The image “http://www.corycullinan.com/Images/Harp.JPG” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Listen! I’ll tell you the story of Heaven
Listen! I’ll tell you the story of Hell
Glistening white portraits of martyrs arisen
Charcoal black portraits of traitors who fell

Heaven is soft
Heaven is nice
Heaven is cushy and mushy
And right
Hell is all rotten
And so very sad
Hell is where little brats go
When they’re bad!
Having fun in Heaven
Wish you were here…
Good Heavens!
You’re in Hell now!
And you’re burning
Yes you’re yearning
To escape from those
Eternal flames

Arrows of lust and those spears that you play with
And anything pointed will just… disappear!
Place your vote now for God’s Eternal Party!
(You’re upper class in th
e G.E.P.!)
And you need do nothing more than just say the words
And those gates will appear!

Heaven is members only
So one must apply
It shines like a country club
High in the sky
Hell is just like a brothel
But oh! the worst kind!
It’s disease of the hair, skin,
The eyes, and the mind!
So listen to me!
Yes listen to me!
Lest you venture
Some treacherous line
On some path of your own…
Or perhaps you’ll take mine?
Having fun in Heaven
Wish you were here…
Good Heavens!
You’re in Hell now!
And you’re burning
Yes you’re yearning
To escape from those
Eternal flames
Don’t you wander too far
Don’t you know what you are?
You’ve the chance
Of a child in a stable
And pages of fables
By men with the wisdom of God

Amen.
Awomen.
Aperson.

Heaven is a land of happy hearts
Hell is for you tarts
Heaven hangs above as lovely art
Hell tears you apart
Heaven, Heaven, Heaven’s very picky
Bring your resume and pictures
Hell will take you now
In Heaven we will be divine in our mirrors

Oh! Oh! It’s getting hotter and hotter and hotter
Forsake me for dead!
Oh! Pour me some water upon my poor head

As it turns out some are perfect forever!
Leaving those out to be bad through and through!
All those discrepancies scarring the species
Purged from without, well now WHICH ONE ARE YOU???

Some are good, some are bad
Some are gay, some are sad
Some are black, some are white
Some are wrong, some are right
Some are poor, some have wealth
Some are sick, some have health
Some don’t know, and some do
I’m with God, how about you?
Having fun in Heaven
Wish you were here…
Good Heavens!
You’re in Hell now!
And you’re burning
Yes you’re yearning
To escape from those
Eternal flames!
There’s a land
That will always be grand
And it’s Heaven! It’s Heaven!
It’s Heaven! It’s Heaven! Oh yes!
There’s a Book
That will never be banned
It’s the Story of Heaven!
Oh Heaven! Oh Heaven! Oh yes!
Heaven is lovely
Heaven is pure
It’s bloated and coated
With shades of velour
Yes Heaven is fragrant
All flowers and doves
Heaven’s unblushing
With gushing self-love!
There’s a place
You’ll eternally die
And it’s Hell! Oh it’s Hell!
Oh it’s Hell! Oh it’s Hell! Oh it’s Hell!
There’s a place
You must eat your own eye
There is Hell! There is Hell!
There is Hell!
Hell is everything ugly
An itch with no cure
It’s smothered and covered
With dripping manure!
Hell is eternal prison
God grants no parole
To Hell you will go
If you play the wrong role!
There are good little girls
There are bad little girls
There are bitches with spikes
There are angels with curls!
There are good little boys
There are bad little boys
There are bastards who fight
There are heirs to our joys!
In Heaven
Wish you were here…
Good Heavens!
You’re in Hell now!
And you’re burning
Yes you’re yearning
To escape from those
Eternal flames..
.
There are good little women
And bad women too
There are virgins in white
There are whores drinking brew!
There are good little men
There are bad little men
There are…
In Heaven
Wish you were here…
Good Heavens!
You’re in Hell now!
And you’re burning
Yes…

…But Daddy, what will I do?
When will I laugh?
What will delight my arrows and spears?
It sounds like no fun at all…
Please get the Heaven out of here!

© Cory Patrick Cullinan

Credits

Voice & synthesizer Cory Cullinan
Boy’s voice James Scott Chowning
Baritone voice Perry Cook
Electric guitar Jay Kadis
Acoustic guitar Howard Kadis
Pipe organ
David Yearsley
Double bass Tim Spears

Notes

Some people love The Story Of Heaven and some people are offended by it. If you’re in the latter category, don’t worry — if you’re right, I’ll pay for it in the afterlife.

Philosophy aside, this was one of the most challenging and fun pieces to put together in the production stage, as it is an elaborate and wild fusion of flamenco, fugue, choral music, pop, and, because his dad was my college advisor, electronic music pioneer John Chowning’s little boy on vocals…

It also features the guitar playing of the Kadis brothers, Howard on the nylon string and Jay on the electric. The pipe organ heard is a huge and rare instrument that is part of a concert hall in a private home in California which was graciously made available to us to record this song. This song was an absolute nightmare for the meticulously talented Phil Blackford to mix, so hats off to him.

Hear this song — and all the songs on My Oyster — at CD Baby.
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